Last night I was hanging out with a ministry peer of mine, Abner Ramos. We were talking about discipling young Black & Latino men in our ministries, and the need for creating space for young men to be real about their lives and about God's Word. At Cal. State LA, we've done this through our men's small group - "2/Too Deep."
Some of what we do is nothing new to mankind. We gather every week to study a section of scripture and share a meal together. As Abner and I talked last night, I realized that it is the "rules" that make our time unique. When I started this men's small group last spring, I layed out three "rules of engagement" for our times together.
One: that the "show up," ie. be there each week. Since our other weekly outreach program is structured to be open for anyone to just stop in to check things out, I figured this would be the arena to foster some deeper commitment.
Two: to "show themselves," not there buddy, or their roommate, but to BE REAL about their lives and the intersection of God's Word with them personally.
Third: they need to "show respect." I always hear my guys talk about not wanting people to get "up in their business" and how they don't want the personal details of their lives being broadcast all around. So I define very clear what I mean by showing respect: "If I ever hear that any of the things that people share in this time is being talked about outside of this time, you will not be allowed to come back." Drop-a-pin silence comes everytime I share this last rule. And then the guys smile and start to open up, knowing that we've agreed to create sacred space among each other.
Last spring, we started with 3 guys - now we have between 12-15. They call each other brothers - Black, Filipino, White - and they are learning how to live out Christian brotherhood together and in the Word.
Big Gringo
2 Comments:
Scott, what have you learned about leading a multi-ethnic group of men as a tall white brother? I'm assuming that it wasn't easy at first, and that you had to adapt. I know a lot of people out there that would be scared to lead a group like the one you're leading because of the racial barriers we put up as people of color. What's your take on this one?
I certainly don't have the corner on the market of cross-cultural impact; however, I think a key piece 2 keys are integrity and identification.
Integrity - I don't pretend to be somebody I'm not. In fact, I am "real" about being white - both in the strenghts and the weaknesses that that brings. As I'm trying to help young Black, Latino & Filipino men be who God made them to be, my greatest resource is to be who God has made me to be. Plus, they can sniff out an imposter & a phony too easily to make it even worth the time trying to be something I'm not.
Identification - having said that about my own white cultural identity, my entry point of connection is not myself & how they can relate to me, but rather their position, their perspectives, their experiences, and the 'distance' I need to go to enter into their worlds - both literally and figeratively. I've learned a lot from them about what the real issues are that they are facing, instead of trying to read my issues onto their circumstances. That is identification. Or at least an element of identification.
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